I have been single for two years now. It hasn’t been easy considering for the last 12 years of my life I was almost continuously in long-term relationships. I didn’t really know how to be alone. I am not at my best when I am. I use to travel in the beginning and spend a lot of time looking at other couples on vacation together and wish I had someone with me. Traveling alone without a significant other can really get to you. You can’t distract yourself when it is only you talking in your head. I have noticed a change recently though. I look around and see couples and say that looks nice, but I am ok. For once in my life I am ok with not having someone around all the time. Don’t get me wrong…being single sucks, but I guess I am growing. I have so much I want to do and see now. My mind has opened to new things and experiences and that has taken the precedence. I have been able to think more clearly without my emotions wrapped up with everything I do. I guess you can blame it on the Scorpio in me….we are strong but quite emotional under the surface. I can see a lot more clearly now than ever. I am living life the way I want to with no excuses, no apologies, and just going with what my gut tells me. I know in the long run this might keep me from finding someone. The more “out there” I get, the less likely I am to find someone who understands and has experienced the same. Nevertheless, it isn’t stopping me. Not this time. I can’t let myself be worried because there is a part of life I believe cannot be controlled. It will be what it will be. I have really noticed in this last trip too all the “couples” that seem sooooo happy fight quite a lot. Why don’t they find someone more compatible? I’ve been there…not anytime recently but in my far past I have. Life is too short to let small things matter. There is a time though when small things add up and it is time to go. I want to be with someone that makes me smile from the inside out. Only a couple of people have done this for me in my lifetime and I realize now that it means everything. If I find someone, that is what is necessary for me to make it happen. Without it, I will continue being a nomad….gladly. I have realized that life is too short to compromise myself.
Being Single
May 31, 2008 by Aria GiovanniYou gotta love Wikipedia!
April 20, 2008 by Aria GiovanniYou know when you were a kid (and sometimes even an adult) and you would joke with your friend and say “When you look up stupid in the dictionary it has your photo?” Well, my girlfriend was searching the term “cleavage” in Wikipedia’s Dictionary the other day and had to forward this to me….LOL
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cleavage
I guess it is possible….
Interpret my Dream
April 4, 2008 by Aria GiovanniI just got home from being on the road for 11 days in Phoenix and Las Vegas. While I was gone I had a dream that seemed interesting. I don’t remember all the details but I do remember the part that I found odd. I was given a ten dollar bill but not like the current currency. It was a new issue that had a big 10 on the back in the lower right corner that was a different color and stood out. Sounds random enough but it wasn’t until the next day that I was at the airport on my way to Vegas that I questioned it. I went to buy a bottle of water and they gave me change for $20. One of the $5 bills was new and I had not seen or heard of the new bills that were released before my dream. It also had a big 5 on the back of the bill in the same position and a different color like in my dream. The only difference was it was a 5 dollar bill and not 10. So, if anything, what does it mean?
Jump and the net will appear
March 4, 2008 by Aria GiovanniI believe that things happen for a reason in life. I have found that it is the easiest way of accepting the parts that don’t make sense. There are people that come into your life like a whirlind. A strong gust of wind through a revolving door that spins you around and viola!…they are gone. You didn’t see them coming and you sure in hell didn’t see them going. But, what you are left with is the confusion and the desire to decipher all the odd pieces of the puzzle in a search to find reason. If they could not stay then what was the purpose of them coming in the first place? I’ve been sifting through these pieces for some time now. Whether the wind will return I do not know, but I have learned some things. I have learned to be more open to new experiences. I can be stubborn and set in my ways with no rational reason why other than just because. Well, just because keeps me from gaining the full experience of all that is around me. It is not a good enough reason anymore. I have learned to travel while I can. See the world and all that it has to offer because one day I will not be able to. I have really taken that one to heart maybe a bit too much even. I am grappling with the last one. To relinquish all control and let life take its course. It is hard to have faith that everything will fall into place on its own exactly the way it was meant to. I always want to meddle with it; to put my hand in the pot and try to change the outcome. It will take its time but it will come. So, here is a motto to live by “Jump and the net will appear.”
I’m addicted to travel
February 15, 2008 by Aria GiovanniAm I running from something? I am not sure. I came back to Los Angeles to work on a project but I have been always on the go. The project lays untouched. Any chance to go somewhere else I take. My schedule is crazy stupid packed to the brim with one trip after another. Where am I going? I think I lost my balance. I have no place that I call home anymore. There is nothing keeping me anywhere. I say that I will stay home when I have something to stay home for. I guess I haven’t found it. I’m seeing the world but I am not moving forward. I have work to do but I don’t want to do it. I think I have lost my motivation because I don’t feel I have a purpose to work for. I don’t want to be in one place or maybe I just don’t want to be in Los Angeles. I feel that I have worn this city thin. There is nothing here for me anymore. I think I’m addicted to travel like one would be to chocolate. I am searching but I haven’t found it. Where is the purpose? Where is the meaning? What was it all for? There has to be a reason, some conclusion. I have given up on finding it so maybe it will come more easily. I’ve surrendered to the possibility.
80 flights in 2007
December 27, 2007 by Aria GiovanniIs that too many? Hahaha…well maybe a little, but I just flew my 80th flight this year to New York. It definitely takes a toll on the body but I have been so many places this year that it has been an experience to say the least. So, here is my list of places I visited in 2007: Cabo, New York, Los Angles, Vegas, Miami, London, Paris, Barcelona, Costa Rica, San Francisco, New Delhi, Khajuraho, Agra, Jaipur, Kathmandu, Varanasi, Sacramento, Amsterdam, Rouen, Budapest, Nairobi, Tanzania, Prague, Limoges, Thou, Munich, Mykonos, Athens, Montreal, San Diego, and Austin. I didn’t factor in layover cities or duplicates. On one hand, I am tired. On the other hand, it has been amazing. Here’s to travel in 2008. I talk about slowing down a little but I already have 12 flights booked in January alone. You would think that I would be over my fear of flying about now, but sadly I am not. Oh well.
What is it about New York?
November 26, 2007 by Aria GiovanniWhat is it about New York that I love so much? I am not sure. All I know is that whenever I go over the bridge on my way into the city a smile comes over my face from nowhere and it doesn’t stop. All my stress and all my worries seem to go away. No other city does this time and time again. I am happy here. I wish I could stay here always. The horrible part is that when I am landing in LA I tell myself “this sucks.” I can’t stand that city. It does nothing for me. I have never liked it. It makes the whole world seem like it is coming in on me. I just feel at home in New York. I love the energy here. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I feel alive again when I get to spend time in the city. Why couldn’t my industry be based in New York? Ahhhh…..I guess that would make life too easy.
I wish I was home…wherever that is
June 1, 2007 by Aria GiovanniI know…I said that I wanted to travel and here I am doing exactly that. I am in Paris now just half way through this trip and all I can think about is that I want to go home….wherever that is. I live in New York but I am only there 4 to 6 days a month. So, do I really live there? I find myself booking tickets to go home for the purpose of paying bills…how absurd is that? There aren’t any signs of things changing anytime soon either since so far I have travel commitments until the end of the year. Part of me enjoys being in new places but I am torn between the desire to see and experience the world and to feel grounded again. I think that when this period passes, how nice it will be to come home and feel comfortable again. I want to cook again in my kitchen, work in the yard on the weekends, spend time with my family, friends, and pets, and have time to plant a garden. I just hope it passes before I go to the other extreme and become a hermit.
Harvest
September 9, 2006 by Aria GiovanniI just got back last night from shooting the wine and cooking show pilot in Paso Robles. Wow, did I have a good time. We shot for two long days at Sylvester winery during the middle of harvest. I couldn’t of paid money to have had the experience that I had this week. I got to ride on top of the machine that picks the grapes by shaking the vine so hard that they fall off. We watched literally tons of grapes being loaded in and dumped into a vat that has a corkscrew that pushed the grapes down a gulley. From there, they are pushed into a huge barrel that presses the grapes and the juice flows out of the bottom. The juice is then piped into these huge steel vats which is where the fermentation process begins. I then helped the winemaker fill some oak barrels with their Merlot for aging. I also had a chance to partake in barrel tastings from the same Cabernet Sauvignon vintage that had been aged in different types of oak barrels from around the world. Surprisingly, the wine tasted quite different from barrel to barrel even though it was the same varietal and vintage. I found this to be very interesting as far as understanding wine because I never realized that the oak could play such a huge role in the end product. There was even a noticeable difference between the wine that had both been aged in French oak barrels but from different barrel makers. I love wine and I think that I have a good understanding of wine, but boy did I learn a lot in these past few days that I would of never of been able to understand without the hands on experience. Making good wine is an art form in and of itself. There is so much that goes into making a bottle of wine that I was unaware of. My trip has just made me appreciate wine that much more.
Thank you for Smoking
August 10, 2006 by Aria GiovanniNow those are words you won’t hear out of my mouth anytime soon for sure. If anything, I am always telling my friends to stop smoking so close to me or not at all. Being asthmatic and growing up with a mother that smoked, I have had enough exposure to it to not want a part of the addicition. But with that aside, have you seen it? The movie that is. I was flying from LAX to JFK and each seat had their own tv. Now, I am not big on watching tv or movies, but I said might at well check out what they have. I had heard about “Thank you for Smoking” and it had looked interesting when it came out. I never found my way into the theatre to see it so I spent a good chunk of my flight watching the movie. I thought it was great. It did a great job of using humor to explore possible ethical dilemas that we face in life. I love movies that make you think of, “What would I do in this situation?” We often say, “I would never do this or that,” but when tested in life sometimes it does not ring true. I loved the main character, the tobacco lobbyist, who went around and proved he was right just by showing the holes in the arguments of the other side. He had a great nack for reasoning, thinking quick, distorting the truth just enough, and inflicting doubt in his opponents. I liked the movie from a comedic standpoint but also because it does make you think about where you stand with your morals when life experiences make you decide what is right and what is wrong.
