Why is that? You are out in public and you see someone across the room that you think is attractive until they open there mouth. You cannot believe what an idiot they become. Within 30 seconds they go from an 8 to a 2 just by talking. Unfortunately it does not work the other way around. If you see a guy that is a 2 on the attractive scale he doesn’t turn into an 8 by talking no matter how humorous and intelligent he may be. Of course he gains a few points but there is something about the initial attraction that is either there or not. I guess it works the other way too. I have had guy friends say they met a 10 and asked her out. On the date she can’t seem to carry a conversation and has a preoccupation with topics such as the new nail polish color that is out for the Spring collection. I guess there is someone for everyone but my friends have complained of a girl loosing all her points too from the same problem. It is always a bummer when this happens.
July 20, 2008 at 9:35 pm |
I too have noticed that intellectual chemistry and physical attraction is very hard to come by. I have a couple friends that openly tell me they “settled” on the girl they’re with. I don’t understand how they can bear it!
I’ve tried settling and all it did was prolong the breakup and made the end even rockier. I guess there are some out there that tolerate it better than others.
July 21, 2008 at 11:31 am |
I know the PERFECT guy for you! But unfortunately, he lives in San Diego…
July 21, 2008 at 2:22 pm |
Good lord that was great! Hilarious and yet true – I’m pretty good at carrying a conversation, I like to think I can talk to pretty much anyone about anything. yet I’m also sure that at some point I have been on the shit end of that stick – where everything I say comes out wrong and I sound like one of the adults on the Snoopy cartoons…
July 21, 2008 at 6:08 pm |
For me is simple,i prefer average but smart girl.
I really don’t like top models.
For work i meet around 700 people each day,so sometimes i meet attractive girls too. But last summer i meet the most beautyfull girl in the world. I don’t know if she was a top model or if she was famous,i don’t care.
She was the girl of ipanema
and when she passes
each one she passes
goes “ooh”
But when she opened her mouth,OMG i can’t belive
she is a girl without a brain and with a noisy voice too!!!
So for me if you can’t carry a conversation
it’s over before the game is started.
July 21, 2008 at 10:14 pm |
If I met you, and didn’t scare you away by my looks, you’d probably vomit in your food, once I started talking about Seinfeld and quoting a ton of great films. LOL
I’m no good, though. I’d want you for your frequent flyer miles.
I just want to see other countries. Other places.
July 21, 2008 at 11:46 pm |
Everyone has a bad day, now and then, but there’s no accounting for people who are emotionally retarded, or intellectually compromised. Then again, for the intellectually promiscuous, moderately attractive, and emotionally healthy, it seems a challenge to find someone compatible. There are a lot of lonely people the world, and a lot of failed relationships for those who make the wrong concessions for the wrong reasons. Shucks, “One learns through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect”, so says Mark Twain, but Flannery O’Connor leaves us with this quippy remark, “To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life and this is a softness that ends in bitterness. ” Sorry to be cliche.
July 22, 2008 at 8:22 am |
Unfortunately the looks doesnt go along with brains all the times,I see pretty girls that are dumb,and not that pretty girls which I enjoy their company,so…its what u prefer most.
July 22, 2008 at 3:30 pm |
How much of point drop occurs if he opens his mouth and witty, intelligent comments begin to flow out, but they are carried along on breath that is reminiscent of the aroma a sewage treatment plant emits?
July 22, 2008 at 4:40 pm |
I appreciate the honesty in this blog. I agree that it is difficult to overcome a lack of initial attraction. I also stand up and applaud that the opposite sex can drop on the scale very very quickly. In my experience this has increased dramatically as I have grown older. Maturity kicking in I would guess.
It seems that the best long term relationships evolve from friendships that eventually turned romantic. But in today’s world who has time to nuture a budding relationship?
People seem to want it all in a relationship (blogger included) right from the get go, and will not “settle” for less. No one should ever have to “settle” when it comes to their partner. But it seems that few want to work at it either. Patience is no longer considered a virtue, but more a nuisance.
July 22, 2008 at 6:05 pm |
I have a deeper business oriented thought about this. You write about initial physical attraction, and how it can be decreased by opening your mouth. Does this thought process contribute to your decreased willingness to interact with your fanbase? As the years have gone by, you seem to start out a project to increase your interaction with fans. Lori’s board, to ariasmessageboard, myspace, now blogging sites. It seems your direct interaction has been slowly eroding, and more one sided correspondence has taken its place. Could it be that you do not want to carry on any conversations or answer questions, because you do not want anything to interfer with the initial attraction from your pictures? You have said in the past that you want people to understand there is a real person behind the photos. But maybe the business side of your personality made the decision that it is better to remain the anonymous sex symbol than a real person with feelings and opinions?
July 22, 2008 at 6:06 pm |
It’s funny to think about this in a blog context… excepting yourself (celebrity), written personality is often met before looks. I suppose there’s some hope and expectation in either case, online or off.
July 25, 2008 at 11:38 am |
I know attraction plays a big a part in any relationship it what kind of draws us to that person in the beginning in certain circumstances ..but beauty is only skin deep and there is always more to people than what you see on the outside ..I know some people of both sex can appear idiots once they open there mouth but it takes all kinds to make a world and it would never do if we were all the same..thats the beauty of life .
July 25, 2008 at 7:42 pm |
Hmm…I’m wondering how this topic came up, Aria. I mean, did you try and talk to someone that ended up being an idiot, or did you hear this story from one of your friends? Because if someone did come over and talk to you and you looked him in the eyes, then you have to be able to remember that you’re not just another pretty face. You’re Aria Giovanni…sex symbol…the epitomy of beauty to thousands…what the hell does someone say to Aphrodite? MMM? The man to figure that out is sure to be rewarded handsomely. Until then, I’m sure 8s will keep turning into 2s.
July 27, 2008 at 4:37 pm |
I see my comments are probably buried in the spam folder again. Oh well..
What about hygiene? If someone is attractive from afar, what happens if they have bad b.o. or breath etc… And you realize it before they even open their mouth? Does that drop the attractive factor immediately as well? Also, I heard on the radio that jean shorts on a guy are an extreme no no. I was surprised that many women called in and agreed. They would not go out with a guy in jean shorts. The initial attraction is not there because of the shorts?!
July 28, 2008 at 9:50 am |
yes I agree, it’s always frustrations, when I had to open my mouth, I guess it usually comes from belower than the bottom line.
but it seems like some sisters that I have met, trying keep the bottom line, keeper of the bottom line, they do work spiritually, it’s good, but when they need to retire, because of love and marriage, I felt some emptiness,
I guess mens also need to walk with fine lines.
cause I also found a girl opened her mouth and sudden chills to whole air.
July 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm |
Morales- It did come up from a personal experience and I do think there is a difference between being tongue tied and just being dumb. I don’t mean intellectually but really not being polite and ignorant about what you say.
July 28, 2008 at 7:48 pm |
Vivienne- I agree that beauty is only skin deep and I have not always dated the most aesthetically pleasing if you might say. What attracts me to a person though is the energy about them and not certain physical features. If this attraction is not there then it is not. Believe me, I have met some guys that girls would fall over for but I was not attracted to them.
July 28, 2008 at 8:02 pm |
drd952- you did end up in the spam folder but eventually I will find it. Your question about my involvement has nothing to do with this blog but I will answer it just the same. Life sometimes gets in the way of things and also changes you. A lot has happened in my life these past 2 years and things are still changing. With that said, it can explain my stepping out for awhile to take care of myself and do what’s best for me. I think that my choices to communicate with my fan base has followed a natural progression of what is available at the time. I don’t think blogs are more impersonal but can actually be very revealing of personal struggles and thoughts. Also, you did happen to forget to add my weekly live chats that I have added to my site that are more personal than any other form of communication that I have ever offered at anytime of my career.
July 28, 2008 at 10:17 pm |
Aria, I did forget about the live chats, sorry. And I do agree that blogs can be very revealing. What I meant apparently didn’t come out correctly. This particular blog was about first impressions and attraction, and how it can drop immediately when they open their mouth. Do you ever worry that interaction can actually hurt your appeal to fans? Whereas you could open your mouth and turn people off because of your views or opinions? I have always found you to be intelligent, interesting and personable in all correspondence. I know you have been through a lot and understand your desire to step out. I was not trying to pry, but wondering if these decisions were business related as well.
July 28, 2008 at 10:30 pm |
I can only imagine that the individual that you are talking about was someone of wealth and a false sense of power. I dont like how money changes people, and I pray that when I aquire bigger finances that it wont change me drastically. I know we are of a different age bracket (I’m 23) but sometimes the most unattractive thing about a woman to me is the obvious. I can’t get wrapped up in someone unless they say the unexpected or reveal something in their personality that I didnt see coming from a mile away. In the past that has been an aura of danger and spontanaity, now it seems to revolve around a sense of humor and an intellectual mind.
July 29, 2008 at 10:18 pm |
Speaking from a male’s perspective it can be startling when an attractive women such as yourself approaches us.
Usually we aren’t thinking with our brain so a coherent sentence may not always come out of our mouths.
I know the first time I met you in person I literally spaced out for a good 30 seconds until My friend snapped his fingers in front of My face.
July 30, 2008 at 11:51 am |
Yes. The real beauty is always under the skin but also inside the brain.
But we are talking also about attraction. Are we?
For friendship we don’t need to be attracted by someone,
but for a relationship is necessary at least a little attraction.
And yes if i like someone a lot,i’m very shy and agitated when i talk to her.
And it is easy to act like a clown or as a fool.
July 30, 2008 at 12:22 pm |
I do know what you mean by feeling a certain energy from a certain person ..I myself have never really been attracted to really good looking men its never been about looks its an inner feeling that you get when you see someone for the first time and feel you might just click ..sad to say we dont always get that one right ..lol
Myself I am now in a relationship where my partner lives in Canada and I live in Scotland needless to say there is a lot of traveling involved we met on the net and have been in a rock solid relationship for 6 years now the point I am trying to make is that I like to think we got to know each other from the inside out as we started talking online and I was attracted by how smart he seemed it was just they way he came across on here and when we met there was no surprises he was exactly the man I had grown to know on here I know this is way off topic so sorry for that …one other thing Aria ..pay no heed to some people who make out that you are being distant from your fans ..you are a real woman and have a real life as well as being a model you have a life and a family and your needs come first and formost
its not easy being everything to everyone ..so you just have to do whats right for you ..I think you are one of the most grounded models on the net and I admire that quality in you very much and I think its fantastic that you share so much of your life with your fan base …
I wish you lost of happiness in all you do .
Love Vivienne x
July 30, 2008 at 3:56 pm |
drd952- “stepping out” was never a business decision. It was the only decision I could make to not fall apart. At that time, I needed time for self discovery and realization. That is hard to do if you remain wide open. I can share a lot but I cannot share everything so stepping back was how I grounded myself. I needed that time for me and I have realized that I still need more time for me than I ever thought I did. I haven’t been too concerned of what my fans have thought about what I say. My opinions add to who is me. If you are afraid of what ever fan will think of what you say then pretty soon you will have nothing to say. People don’t have to agree but I never wanted to play into the complete fantasy world that often the industry does. I wanted to be a real person and so far it has worked well for business and for me personally.
July 30, 2008 at 6:32 pm |
This is my last comment, as I never intended to talk so much about “attraction”. But I wanted to say thanks Aria. Your candid and intelligent responses are why I am still around after all these years. Especially the last paragraph about complete fantasy and being a real person. You are unique and I am very happy you have achieved the success you have while staying true to yourself. I hope the self discovery continues to go well.
July 31, 2008 at 9:39 pm |
drd952 – I really don’t understand why Aria have to explain herself in public about her behavior inside her Blog. Is her personal decision to run, how to run, or eventually leave her own Blog.
The fact that run a blog and interact whit her fans is also a business decision and not only personal one is obvious and I don’t see any harm in that. I simply don’t know why she need’s to explain herself to you or to anyone in this blog about if is more personal o more business related.
The only thing completely sure here is that we the fans have a place to met Aria-the-Person, not Aria-the-adult-model. I think I am talking in behalf of all aria-fans when I say that is more than enough the participation of Aria inside this Blog. Put a real non manufactured personality to the body of the adult model we enjoy the most is a rare luxury that Aria is giving us with these essays and personal opinions. Only few adult models do that with the fans and we are more than lucky to have that kind of interaction for free, even if that interaction eventually is going to have an end.
drd952, I don’t want to be rude by any means and please don’t take this personally, but please stop monopolize Arias Attention questioning her behavior only to see her responding to you. I really want to read other kind of stuff here more related to Aria than to your “discomfort” concerning that “Aria” is not your “ideal drd view of aria”.
Sincerely
Juan Esteban.
July 31, 2008 at 10:22 pm |
Aria I think your case is more similar to everyone else case than you think…
Also for me and for many people I know a pretty face or body is not going to help the evolving of a new long lasting relationship if that face or body is not correlated with a “brain”. And of course, if that “brain” is by far unappealing “in extremis”, it could erode in seconds any chance of anything, even a simple night of just sex.
Also the opposite could happen very often. I mean, a-not-so-great face or body could turn even in physical attraction or true long lasting love if the person have great qualities.
Sincerely
Juan Esteban
August 3, 2008 at 5:27 am |
Aria, I completely agree. Guys that are ignorant, impolite and narcissistic earn -2 points in my book. I would have to say another annoying type are the sugary-sweet, I’m going to sweep-you-off-your-feet and my dreamy lines are going to melt-your-heart-like-butter. I typically follow that with laughter.
Besides the ignorant type, guys that try too hard to impress you obviously are not themselves. Another -2 points.
Guys, don’t take yourselves too seriously. Otherwise the vibe is uncomfortable. sheesh!
August 5, 2008 at 2:40 pm |
I disagree Aria. Btw, I just found your blog… and am somehow going to take you on a date next time you come to Miami. lol.
Take Neil Strauss for example. He is not the most handsome looking guy there is. Now of course he’s not a 2, but despite his average looks, he’s able to attract his really hot girlfriend, Jackie Dawn. There is a charisma and confidence that some average looking guys are able to manifest. I wouldn’t talk in absolutes. I mean, I’m an average looking guy, but I’m the most awesome guy you could ever meet. Being a social or socially gifted individual is an important aspect of human male survival value in evolutionary biology.
For girls though, physical beauty is an important thing for them. And while many guys want to be with an intelligent girl, generally, looks play an important role unless they decide to settle. They don’t have to be a dollface, they just need to have some type of natural beauty. That natural beauty is the females replication value in evolutionary bio.
But to answer your question, some guys that are physically attractive are born with certain beliefs like the beliefs that they don’t need to really work on their intelligence because they’ve got it made. It’s kind of like a person that is born into a rich family, they don’t appreciate their wealth as much as someone who worked to get where they’re at.
I have lots of awesome stuff on my blog Aria. Check it out.
August 15, 2008 at 4:47 am |
You mention is very common, it is why we should not judge people by their appearance.
August 15, 2008 at 7:52 am |
Good blog. However, i think A conversationalist and a handsome guy in one does not exist. I am happy you are discovering yourself and enjoying life. Your personal happiness is definitely important.
Humans who have nothing great to say is a sad topic. I think a average looking person is more balanced in wisdom than a handsome/pretty person
However, i could be completely wrong. Age, interests, beliefs,and other elements are key factors in the ’spark’ moment.
August 19, 2008 at 12:57 am |
please i need you to answer
August 19, 2008 at 12:58 am |
i need you to see you real
December 30, 2008 at 2:56 pm |
Human’s individuality looks like a melody, and if you hear other’s melody that seems nice, it is a chance to copy some chords to your own
. Touch, open and hear this mystique melody of other is our final goal. Talk, sex, quarrel, etc. are only ways to break a wall and touch the melody. And sex not the best way – you can sleep with somebody and forget about it on a next day, you can talk with somebody and remember it for all your life. So, answering on your question: “Why is that?” – It is because you still able to differentiate humans who have an individuality and mannequins who forget their own melody and being ruled by simple thought, instinct and fears.