I have been single for two years now. It hasn’t been easy considering for the last 12 years of my life I was almost continuously in long-term relationships. I didn’t really know how to be alone. I am not at my best when I am. I use to travel in the beginning and spend a lot of time looking at other couples on vacation together and wish I had someone with me. Traveling alone without a significant other can really get to you. You can’t distract yourself when it is only you talking in your head. I have noticed a change recently though. I look around and see couples and say that looks nice, but I am ok. For once in my life I am ok with not having someone around all the time. Don’t get me wrong…being single sucks, but I guess I am growing. I have so much I want to do and see now. My mind has opened to new things and experiences and that has taken the precedence. I have been able to think more clearly without my emotions wrapped up with everything I do. I guess you can blame it on the Scorpio in me….we are strong but quite emotional under the surface. I can see a lot more clearly now than ever. I am living life the way I want to with no excuses, no apologies, and just going with what my gut tells me. I know in the long run this might keep me from finding someone. The more “out there” I get, the less likely I am to find someone who understands and has experienced the same. Nevertheless, it isn’t stopping me. Not this time. I can’t let myself be worried because there is a part of life I believe cannot be controlled. It will be what it will be. I have really noticed in this last trip too all the “couples” that seem sooooo happy fight quite a lot. Why don’t they find someone more compatible? I’ve been there…not anytime recently but in my far past I have. Life is too short to let small things matter. There is a time though when small things add up and it is time to go. I want to be with someone that makes me smile from the inside out. Only a couple of people have done this for me in my lifetime and I realize now that it means everything. If I find someone, that is what is necessary for me to make it happen. Without it, I will continue being a nomad….gladly. I have realized that life is too short to compromise myself.
Tags: relationships, single, travel
July 7, 2008 at 7:14 am |
i like this blog u posted. I know what you mean, I’ve been single for almost 3 years now. And just recently all my friends are now in relationships except me. I know that being single is good for self-growth, but it sucks!, lol. I think that I feel like the 3rd, or 5th or in my case the 11th wheel.
July 8, 2008 at 9:03 pm |
Yeah, being single sucks. But making too many concessions and being miserable in a relationship is even worse.
July 12, 2008 at 8:21 pm |
I hope you finally find someone that you could consider “good enough” for a long-term relationship
In your case I thing the mayor difficulty is based in your frequent working travels, a kind of live that really requires a tolerant couple that could handle those absences or in other hand handle constantly living in hotel rooms far away from his social network and workplace.
In second place is very difficult to find someone that really understands your line of work. In few words, someone that even if is comfortable that your were a adult model before you meet him, that not necessarily signifies that him will be tolerant enough to accept that you are not going to end a successful career only to avoid jealous feelings
In third place you are a very successful woman, so maybe many people even successful ones would be feel uncomfortable with that. Is a shame, but is a human behavior very frequent to find.
The other thing is that you are a public figure, so even if you maintain personal live completely separated from your line of work, many people would find not be “completely” anonymous a big challenge.
I thing the most probable but not only solution, is to seek and find someone working inside the adult industry that really understand long working absences, being a public figure, and possible obscene commentaries about his partner body or even “supposed” personal behavior.
Good luck finding your new partner, I’m quite sure you will find one more sooner than later
July 12, 2008 at 9:53 pm |
Juan speaks some sense here. However, I think successful relationships are based on a solid foundation of intellectual stimulation, communication and trust, as well as mutual admiration and respect. Not knowing you Aria, and just recently finding this blog and your website, I’m reluctant to give any advice, otherwise. That said, with your grace and beauty, and obvious intellect, I could see you possibly taking up with an artist, or writer, maybe a musician (questionable as they are on the road all the time too), but someone rather philosphical and intellectual, and as Juan indicates, open minded and tolerant. I’m not sure a romantic interest would really need to know or understand your career intimately well, but, they would definitely need to be accepting of it, for obvious reasons. Shucks, take my advice, God and everybody else in the world knows I’m certainly not using it.
August 6, 2008 at 3:25 am |
i’m a kind of fan of you, and your work… but i just can’t believe how you are single (please don’t misunderstood my expression, i’m not talking about your body) … well the answer for that i quite logical.. rb has a great point when speaks that your success may be a big trouble for men… i think that when you feel that something of your life gives you the feel that’s wrong, you should go and “help yourself” to make it right… with this i’m saying that if you are single now, is because you just want it.
i just can’t miss the chance to congratulate you again for your great work, by far you are the most interesting (and beauty) adult model…
regards
August 7, 2008 at 6:44 am |
HI ARIA, I READ YOUR BEING A SINGLE AND GOT YOUR LOVE
WIKIPEDIA. I HAVE ADMIRED YOU. YOU FEEL SINGLE BUT
YOU HAVE ALREADY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. IF YOU THINK
SOMEONE TO TRAVEL WITH YOU, THAN YOU HAVE SOMEONE
RIGHT IN YOUR INNERTHOUGHT. I AGREE TO YOUR MAIN
THEME:- EAT PRAY LOVE.
REGARDS- SAMUEL
August 9, 2008 at 7:57 pm |
Hi Aria,
I am surely a devoted fan. I just Love everything you do. I do hope you are happy, but if you are single, then I don’t really see how you can be happy.
The human beast is a diabolical animal with two sides to its nature, some are stingy and frugal and therefore enjoy being single, but you are made for a large audience and need to be non selfish after all you are a public figure and a well known one at that therefore to be really happy you need to belong to a wide audience and I am sure you have one. All you have to do is go on traveling around the world to meet all the very best of your flock. I am sure the day is close when you will meet the best one of them all. I believe what is most important for us is our legacy. What kind of children do we leave behind to continue this strange quest after us.
I have always wondered!
Do you have any children of your own?
With my admiration for you!
August 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm |
For several years I am admiring your work (photos, videos) or better to say you. Only now I have read some of your notes and this one I take as a confirmation that I was right spending my time that way.
August 15, 2008 at 7:23 am |
So, you are waiting on the one? Well, this is a great idea and thanks for the good blog !!!!
August 21, 2008 at 7:18 am |
Hey Aria
I like the comment you make in “BEING SINGLE”. You metioned that Life is very small and there are many things you can do. Since I am strong believer of the satatement which you have made.I would like to add that Life is very small and you should enjoy each and every moment of your life.
August 30, 2008 at 11:38 am |
In case your professional life is different from other couples which we see our society,You feel different emotines.At once It is normal.You have got very busy schedule.There are a lot ot travels and parties.You are not ready to be alone.But you want to have someone for special life.
Finally,You need real friend and love because others thinks how to enjoy their life for using Aria.
I love you really,Aria
I kiss you
September 1, 2008 at 5:30 pm |
Hi Aria,
I think your post is really profound. I’ve been thinking about the same topic since a few years. It’s difficult when you don’t find anybody who “completes” you, and you feel in a situation with no way out.
I have to confess that I didn’t expect such a good post from you. Stereotypes are horrible. I’m glad I was wrong.
Regards,
C.J.
September 9, 2008 at 8:33 am |
I am still available for you! lol
October 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm |
Artists, musicians, intellectuals….blah, blah, blah. At this point in your life there is no doubt in the minds of many that you’ve accomplished so many things at such a young age. Perhaps retirement might be a considerable option? Only then you might find what everyone eventually seeks for in life. A companion that can fill the void in their hearts and minds. You’re still young and have much to live for. Every guy reading this will have my head for even mentioning retirement. You ever need to talk, look me up on my webpage. I’ll be more than happy to talk.
December 29, 2008 at 10:40 pm |
I know what you mean about not wanting to compromise or settle. But being single is when you get the chance to work on your own happiness! The ideal relationship is when two independent, content single people choose to be together. The good thing about being single is that you’re working on yourself; the bad thing is sometimes you wonder if anybody else is making an effort towards their self-awareness and improvement! I still have faith… 2 favorite quotes from Rainer Maria Rilke:
“For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.”
February 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm |
Hello Aria. Before I begin, I’d like to commend you on your work. It seems to be every other day when I come across a new photoshoot, or video. I can only imagine the kind of work schedule that entails. The whole being single,as I’am is something I’ve never gave much thought to. I just put down to not finding the right kind of person. I do know though that I don’t mind being single,as it gives me a certain freedom that otherwise might not have. In saying that though I certainly would fully embrace having someone else when the right one comes along. I think the whole single thing is a state of mind. Your either cool with it,or you’re not. For those who don’t like being single, they tend to go with someone who in the long run won’t be right for them. I’m glad to read that you have made a somewhat addjustment to the single life as it couldn’t have been easy at first after that 12 year span of always having someone by your side.And until you’re ready to do otherwise, enjoy the freedom that is currently avaliabe to you.
Good,insightfull blog Aria, makes one think about their own staus in this world.
February 21, 2009 at 9:28 pm |
Hey Aria,
first off, you are so attractive. Not JUST your body. I really think you are most attractive when i see you interacting (joking) with other models. Not that Santana isn’t jealous about how awesome a video you made for black magic…
just that your personality DOES shine through you!
before i get to long winded, just wanted to say that I’m way out there and if you want i will slow down a little in case you get out HERE and feel lonely. This way at least you can tell someone how you feel!
I’m a few min.s late for an appointment, so long my goddess….
March 2, 2009 at 2:17 pm |
Hey, I know exactly what you mean…but the reality is that most people in this world are more afraid of being alone than they are of being with the wrong person. This is why so many people stay in abusive relationships! Life is too short to waste it spending time with the wrong person.
Peace.
AP
March 3, 2009 at 12:17 am |
I was in a relationship for 3 years and my friend did not want to get married, so I decided to leave him and start a new life I felt like he was cheating on me but I did not have any proof. But we as women know. It has been 5 months and some things I just can’t handle being lonely like sitting in the house with no one when it rains or snow. What do you do if you are sexually ready and have no one to perform with? I am learning myself more each day by being single. My children are grown and out the house. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to like a male.
March 22, 2009 at 11:40 am |
I am available:) . But I am too young for you
[25 years]. 